WHAT JOKE MADE YOU LAUGH SO HARD THAT MILK CAME OUT YOUR NOSE? or, your know, was just really funny?

  1. Topic

    Posted: 17 February 2011 01:24 PM

    WHATS THE FUNNIEST JOKE YOU EVER HEARD?

  2. Response number 1

    Posted: 17 February 2011 04:54 PM

    Ummm the funniest joke I ever heard? You saying you were pretty :L

    Just kidding, sorry that was mean, please forgive me dreamdisguise.

    Anyway good jokes umm

    Okay this one is only funny when my uncle says it because he has THE BEST duck voice :L

    Okay, a duck walked into a bar and said, “Do you have any bread?”
    The barman said, “No, I don’t have any bread.”
    So the duck says, “Got any bread?”
    And the barman says, “No I don’t have any bread.”
    So the duck says, “Got any bread.”
    And the barman said, “NO I DON’T HAVE ANY BREAD AND IF YOU ASK ONCE MORE I’LL NAIL YOUR EARS TO THE WALL!”
    So the duck says, “Got any nails?”
    And the barman said, “No.”
    So the duck said… (wait for it)..... “Got any bread?”

    Awesome or what :D

    Or there’s, two sasauges where in a pan, one of them said, “It’s hot in here!” and the other one yelled, “OMG A TALKING SASAUGE!”

    Or, when I was little my dad used to always tell me fight fire with fire, in hindsight this is probably why he got kicked out of the firebrigade…

    If you want I’ve like a MILLION blonde jokes too…

  3. Response number 2

    Posted: 17 February 2011 08:51 PM

    Oh those jokes are brilliant SD!

    Umm… Blonde jokes… Uh… Well, being White-blonde hair myself I’m not very keen on them…
    Oh they are really funny though!!!!

    Oh! Here is my signature joke…

    A guy walks into a bar…...... Ouch

    Haha! Lol xx

  4. Response number 3

    Posted: 17 February 2011 09:54 PM

    TwilightMist - 17 February 2011 08:51 PM

    Oh those jokes are brilliant SD!!

    Oh! Here is my signature joke…

    A guy walks into a bar…...... Ouch

    Haha! Lol xx

    haha I love that one TM
    its a classic :D
    ermm im not good with jokes errr…ill get back to you wen i hav one lol :D

  5. Response number 4

    Posted: 17 February 2011 10:42 PM

    SquankyDonkey - 17 February 2011 04:54 PM

    Just kidding, sorry that was mean, please forgive me dreamdisguise.


    it’s ok, we all say stuff and then suddenly relize just exactly what we said, and it’s like ‘woopsie daisy!’ plus you’ve never seen me so it’s hard to take offense cause you don’t know if im pretty or ugly! good jokes though :D

  6. Response number 5

    Posted: 18 February 2011 01:00 AM

    Probably this one my friend told me the other day. It isn’t even that funny but I laughed really hard.

    This is a true story. A lady was at a gas station. She filled up her tank of gas and then went to the inside cash register to pay. When the teenager behind the counter asked what payment method she would like to use she said. “I can’t pay for my gas. I need you to.” The boy responded by saying that he can’t pay for her gas and that she is going to have to. The woman and boy argued for a while before the woman left the store without paying, and tried to get in her car. The cashier quickly followed the lady to her car and started pulling her leg just like I am doing to you right now.

    I don’t know. Pretty stupid :) but that’s ok.

  7. Response number 6

    Posted: 18 February 2011 02:19 AM

    Cheesy Pickup lines ;)

    1. Are you lost? Because heaven’s a long way from here.
    2. Was that an earthquake, or did you just rock my world?
    3. Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas?
    4. Exuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you’ve stolen my heart.
    5. I fell and hit my head when I first saw you. I’m gonna need your name and number for insurance reasons.

    ok, ive got tons more if you want but im gonna stop there with the pickup lines…

    Ten ways to annoy your waitor…

    10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
    9.Ask, “exuse me, are you a really bad singer or a really bad actor?”
    8.After he describes each special, you shout, “Garbage!”
    7. When ever he walks by, cough and mutter, “Minimum Wage.”
    6. Every few seconds, yell, “More waffles, Cuomo!”
    5.Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
    4.Tie a table cloth around your neck and say, “You wouldn’t charge Superman for dinner, would you?”
    3.Everytime you eat or drink, cough really hard.
    2.As he walks by the kitchen, scream, “He’s gonna spit in the chowder!”
    1.Three words: eat the check.

    i have more but im gonna stop there. tell me if you want more!

  8. Response number 7

    Posted: 18 February 2011 02:22 AM

    A nurse walked by the baby nursery and saw a baby with a cell phone. On the screen, she saw a text:

    ‘OMG! I was just born!’

  9. Response number 8

    Posted: 18 February 2011 04:47 AM

    ok, ok… i can do this. easy. no problemo. k im going now:

    a kid’s busy digging in his yard. his next door neighbour looks over the fence and asks:
    “jonny? wat’re you doing??”
    kid says:“im digging a hole for my goldfish m’am. he just passed away.”
    lady says: “oh. all right then.” and she goes back to watever she was doing. then she stops, and looks back over the fence:
    “jonny, that’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish.”
    kid says: “its because he’s INSIDE YOUR STUPID CAT.”

    “WAITER!!”
    “yes, sir?”
    “what’s this fly doing IN MY SOUP??”
    “hmmmm…it looks like the backstroke.”

    “i demand you take this soup back to the cook!!”
    “why should i? he wont eat it either.”

    i got a couple of blond jokes that r pretty dang funny too… but i dont wanna hurt anybody’s feelings…

    btw - i ROFL D at every single thing you guys posted - MAN ima hav SO MUCH FUN next time im in a restaurant, maybe i’ll just say cheezy pickup lines to random people on the street. OR EVEN BETTER: in the grocery store (yeah YEAH :P)

    [ Edited: 18 February 2011 04:51 AM by lil*dezray]

  10. Response number 9

    Posted: 18 February 2011 05:16 AM

    Lol LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!
    these jokes are so good!

  11. Response number 10

    Posted: 18 February 2011 01:32 PM

    Lol
    Another Way To Annoy A Waitor:
    Ask For An Extra Seat For Your “Imaginary Friend”

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