Zine: Being a Male/Prom Rant § The Amanda Project

Being a Male/Prom Rant

Prom season is here, and I’ve noticed that females are waiting instead of acting. They’re banding in the halls sending sharp glances at prospective dates. Their looks scream, “Ask me out.”

Quite frankly, I’m sick of it. I would like to be able to reach my locker without feeling like I’ve considered a major sin when I ignore a girl. I’ve done nothing wrong so why should I be thought of having made a mistake by not acting upon female whims?

Therefore, I’ve decided that I will no longer be swayed by long lashes, sweet perfume, and syrupy words.

I refuse to beg for somebody’s affection or attention. The social expectation that guys have to be the ones to confess and take initiative has to end. The hypes and stereotypes are getting more and more ridiculous by the day, and I refuse to be influenced.

Men have to be strong. Men shouldn’t cry or be too sentimental. Men should treat women with respect. Men should be more aware. Men shouldn’t be so shallow. The list goes on and on, twists and turns, and is laced with hypocrisy and oxymorons. It leaves me wondering: what does it mean to be a man?

My resolve is that I won’t be the one to confess. That I won’t be the one burdened with the duty of making somebody else happy. Contrary to my exterior, my heart is as tender as any woman’s.

Love is supposed to be mutual; ladies, do your part.

Redefining masculinity should start with redefining femininity.

I don’t want a stick thin girl plastered in cosmetics. I don’t need a girl that cries and clings. I need somebody that understands me, somebody who won’t assume that I’m “just a guy.”

Is that too much to ask for?

Ladies, I ask you to put yourselves in our shoes. When we look at somebody we have feelings for, our heart flutters just as quickly as yours. When we’re hurt, the tears we cry and the agony we feel are the same. When we hope, we too wish for the best.

Change things up a bit. Cast aside those restrictive, degrading gender roles and start seeing things our way. Don’t insist that we should be the ones that should change. If we did nothing wrong, don’t assume that it’s our fault. Learn how to accept us for who we are; learn how to make the first move. So don’t coo my name, just say it.

Don’t wait for time to be lost.

15 responses

Coupe 05.31.2010

poor guys . . . i never thought of it like that. So much pressure.
“I don’t want a stick thin girl plastered in cosmetics.”—I wonder if it’s like that w all guys, cuz i know a few who really DO want that. so agravating
Coupe 05.31.2010

Personally as a girl- im sick of skater hair or “the beiber”- wtevr u want to call it. Every guy looks like a copy of the next. Sigh . . . its so hard to find a guy who doesn’t care a/b looking like evry1 else.
BlueRoseGrey 06.01.2010

…dude… no offense… but that was oddly deep on so many levels… all the boys at my school are total (uh… that word isn’t allowed here…) so that just sounded really, really emotional. again, no offense, but i think i was chuckling to myself that whole time. Oh and btw Coupe, i totally agree with the whole “Beiber” look. Personally, we need more guys with emo hair at my school. ahh… goth boys… *dreamy look * oh and by the way Sebastian… yeah… you’re really dramatic. No offense (again!) but you are. XD
BlueRoseGrey 06.01.2010

Oh and you have to understand, girls won’t ask guys out because they’re afraid that they’ll seem way too pushy. Or they’re afraid that they’ll be put down… but i’m sure the feelings are mutual for that :)
SpaceCowboy 06.01.2010

OMG OMG you are completely right! girls should also be the ones to take a stand and ask the guy out. im tired of ppl looking down on it, because a lot of ppl i kno think it’s sad if a girl has to ask the guy out. and y? because it’s not tradition? hello ppl it’s the 21st century! girls can do anything guys do right? then y not asking out a guy? but if guys hav all the same feelings as girls do than y do guys act like jerks? you can tell us NO without having to talk smack bout us to your friends when we walk away. and you make some VERY GOOD POINTS, but not all guys are like you, as a matter of fact i dont think i know any guys like you. most of them are shallow, cocky, and dont treat girls with respect. so its hard not to judge and sterotype. and im sure it’s vise-versa. and i agree with BlueRoseGrey we dont want to ask guys because we dont want to seem pushy or come off too strong, or we’re scared of REJECTION; so i think there should be a compromise. guys should leave hints that he is interested in the girl and then the girl should ask.
simplyme 06.01.2010

spacecowboy—- ur compromise idea…may-b, may-b not. most boys in my skl are jerks and there is no point talking 2 half of them. like, i have some guy mates but they r still wacko at times. girls and REJECTION don’t go well, so yeah. i think when us girls like someone badly we don’t bofer doing anyfink cause we fink it won’t go well. well, i wouldn’t exactly put it like that normally but along thoughs lines. ish. :) i agree w/ Coupe & BlueRoseGrey bout de skater hair and “the beiber” look. its like…what the (well)…also…BlueRoseGrey already said it but i’m sill gona…ur deep man. like more than i expect from a guy. no offence but i’ve just been at my friends and she has 4 bros and they are all…so random. i don’t think they think b4 they say anyfink. anyways…peace out. catrin
jessicahuey 06.01.2010

yeqah sure great!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sabastian 06.01.2010

@Coupe; Beiber/Skater hair is just a trend and people tend to copy whatever’s “in.” It really isn’t a matter of guys lacking individuality. That and like two of my friends had “Beiber” hair way before the kid got famous.

@BlueRoseGrey; was I dramatic? It wasn’t intentional (or maybe it just slipped. I’m far more reserved in person). I guess it’s just typical of all of us, regardless of gender, to be reluctant about making the first move.

@SpaceCowboy; you never know. I’m actually kind of quiet IRL so maybe there are guys that feel the same way and they aren’t voicing it.

@Catrin; thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment.

@Jessicahuey; thanks.
jessicahuey 06.01.2010

omg i love guys !!!!!!!hot guys
shadowcat 06.03.2010

i wouldnt ask the guy because i would be terrifide if they said no. (if i actually found a guy that i could like)
Jupiter 06.03.2010

you so have a point. i always feel sorry for guys when it comes up to proms etc. asking people out is so hard, right? rejection is the WORST.
i think it depends on the couple. i mean, some guys are totally shallow and immature (and that goes for the girls too). but that’s no way everyone.
i like this guy, i’m gonna confess. he’s quite shy and so i’ve been wondering for some time if i should ask him out rather than waiting a coupla centuries for him to ask me. but then i’m so worried he actually doesn’t like me in that way. so it’s hard. but who knows?
things are changing, though. i think in a coupla decades, things’ll be completely different. i mean, my mum proposed to my dad, and they’re like ultra-traditional. so if they can do it …why can’t i?
jessicahuey 06.03.2010

its a free country i would ask the guy out
EllaMarie 06.08.2010

If I wanted to ask a guy out, I would probably change my mind in the next like five-ten seconds, maybe. And that’s mostly because I’m quite shy. And I’m not really close to any guys in my school. (I do know some of course. I’m not close to them. And with me, there’ll probably be 99% chance he will reject me.)
SpaceCowboy 06.10.2010

Well maybe your right that there are a few decent guys at my school Sabastian, but where are they??? but i jus want to tell you that i agree with what you posted, your right. and thanks it gives me some insight into a boys mind. maybe next time i wont be as shy when it comes to a guy. :)
jessicahuey 06.15.2010

OHMG!!!!!!!!!!