Goodbye, I Guess.

So, where do I begin?

I joined TAP last April, under the name Finding_Words…although very few people remember me as that, my time under that alias was so short. It was the first site like this that I’d ever encountered, and I was fascinated.

I’d actually read the book about two weeks before I joined. I remember, I tried to join while in the car driving up to my grandparents house, but I didn’t have enough signal and——but that’s not important.

Anyway, after I joined, I remember looking at the Zines at first, reading all the conversations and comments, and thinking, Oh my god, I’m never going to fit in here. I thought all of the older members seemed so intimidating, and I thought you’d all think I was weird.

I was so wrong. Over the past year—because holy cow, it’s been a whole year!—I’ve gotten to know so many amazing people. This website has changed me so much—for the better, I think. There are a lot of people I want to mention, but I’m not sure how many names I can remember off the top of my head. Here it goes…

Dee: Weell. Considering I still talk to you all the time, there isn’t much to be said. But when I first met you, I was honestly so awed by your writing. I thought that you were absolutely amazing—and still do, by the way. So get off your lazy, procrastinating butt and go write! (Now, Dee.)

MizzT: Still talk to you too. But I remember our first conversation, can’t remember whose story it was on, when I found out you live in England. I thought you were SO cool. And here we are, one year later, and I’m still obsessing over your accent. And your story. I wish you’d write more—what about that story about intelligent zombies you were telling me about?

Blushie: My crazy little Blushie—you were always the energy on the site. I admit, when I first spoke with you, I had a hard time keeping up (xD), but you’re such a fun exciting person that I didn’t mind. I still talk to you on Facebook and Wattpad, so this isn’t goodbye, is it?

Squanky: Because that was the first name I knew you by. I remember you and your songs, and then seeing your poem in the second TAP book. Honestly, I don’t think we spoke a whole lot until I found you on Wattpad. You’re so supportive of my writing, and you’ll never know how much I appreciate it. And, again, I still talk to you.

Kylar: I could write an essay to you, my dear. You’ve been such a supportive and inspiring friend to me in the short time we’ve known each other. I heard so many amazing things about you from older TAPpers, before you returned, and they were all true. Considering how often we email, I don’t have to worry about never talking to you again. But honestly, thanks for everything.

Silent: Silent, Silent, Silent. You and your craziness and your constant new stories and your PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE comments when you wanted me to update. When I first joined, you were so welcoming and supportive. Keep your head up, and keep writing more of your beautiful poetry. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt if you’d post a story or two on Wattpad every now and then, would it?

Creamy: Yes, you’re under another name now, but whatever. You and your sister—I think you were probably two of my first friends on here. I remember your story that you never updated, and I’d always bother you about updating it… Then you were gone for a while, and when you came back… wow, you’d improved so much. You’re an amazing writer, my dear. Don’t ever stop.

Ally: I haven’t seen you on TAP in a long, long time. You had to have been one of the first members, right? I remember lurking your page and being awed that you’d been on for so long. You were always our voice of reason, our big sister. Thank you for introducing me to Wattpad, and for having faith in my writing. Even though you never posted anything yourself…

Zy: Oh, Zy. You, too, have been on here for a long time. You’re so, so talented, both in writing and art. I’m going to go lurk Dee’s dA page to find you, but we absolutely must keep in touch. You and your many characters, with their amazing names and personalities, bring so much character to your writing. I’ll be looking out for your books ;).

Miri: I remember when you first joined, and Dee and I had that super long conversation on one of your poems. I know you don’t like to just be complimented, but you are an amazing writer. I always loved your dry humor, and your references to movies I’d never heard of, and the way you got so into your stories. I’ll be stalking—er, finding you soon, so we’ll keep in touch. By the way, I just read the third book of the Everlost trilogy. Holy shet. And what’s this about a TAP Wiki?

Dalia: Your poetry. That’s the first thing I think of when I see your name. Your beautiful, beautiful poetry. You have such a gift with words, and I wish you’d been on more lately, because I miss talking to you. Anyway, although I have no idea if you’ll ever be on to read this, I think you’re super duper talented.

Zoe: What I remember most about you, I think, is your love of band. It’s like you and band are synonymous. You were always all over the debates, and I think you were one of the people who finally drew me in there. We never really spoke in depth or anything, and now I wish we had.

Faith: You, girl, are such a great writer. When you first joined, I didn’t know what to expect. But your stories are freaking amazing. I hope you keep writing forever and ever and ever, because you owe it to the world (and me) to keep putting out your stories. See you on Wattpad~

CuteD: I think you were one of the first people to comment on my stuff. You were one of the youngest on here, but you had one fireball of a personality. You gave TAP so much character, you were the little sister, and the girl who was never afraid to say what was on her mind. Good luck at that performing arts school next year; you’ll do great. In the meantime, I’ll be emailing…

KellyBlack: You were perhaps the youngest person on here, ever. But as young as you are, you have so much talent. I haven’t seen you on recently (although I haven’t been on), but I hope you continue writing. Maybe I’ll see you somewhere on the internet again, sometime.

Ebbette: My little creationist. When I first joined, you weren’t currently on. You came back, briefly, and I totally loved your bubbly personality and enthusiasm for everything. I wish I knew how your Suicide story ends… and get on Wattpad, would ya? :)

2q: I haven’t seen you on in a long, long time. But I remember our conversations, and how we always talked about our love of dance. I hope you’re doing well, and that you’ve continued writing, continued dancing, and I hope we meet again, someday.

Twilight: You… I don’t even know how to say it, but you’re just such an inspiring person. You fascinated me from the first time I met you, with your love of The Highwayman, your lovely poetry, and your tendency to word your comments in old English. Not to mention that your artistic talent is mesmerizing. I told you, once, that I thought your poetry would be the kind of stuff kids read in school once day—I still believe that.

Taylor: I can’t even remember when you joined; last summer, I think? You were the only person I knew on here who wrote a full-length story about Amanda, and it was fascinating. I don’t know where you went, but I hope, wherever you are, that you’re still writing.

LittleStar: You And Your Capitalized Words… I never understood how you had the patience to do that, but it certainly made you stand out. You’re so animated, and you seemed to have so many ideas. I never spoke to you much, not until Wattpad, but I don’t even see you on there much anymore. I hope you go on sometime soon.

Amy: Your TAP case was a little bit different. I think I spoke to you a total of three times. There isn’t really much for me to say, except that I hope everything worked out with the baby, and I wish you the best of luck. You deserve it :).

Kenzie/BlackRose: When I first read your stories, I totally loved them. You’re a great writer, and I loved talking to you, too. Not sure where you’ve gone, but I hope you come on in these last few TAP days.

BlueMagic: I remember reading your story about the kids and the hospital and the curse, and how you took the criticisms I gave you and applied them right away. Not many people are willing to listen to criticism. I still see you ‘round Wattpad, but I should really talk to you more, huh? I definitely have some catching up to do on HIIAIS.

Poemgirl and Bambi: I never spoke to either of you much, but you’d both occasionally flood the Zine with your poetry, all of it beautiful. I hope you keep poet-ing, both of you.

Animangaroo: You were always somewhat of a mystery to me. I’d see your writing on the Zine now and then, and it had this flowy quality about it that I loved. I don’t know what happened with you and…Austin, was it? but your story fascinated me.

Gigi/Angel: You’re one of the only new people that I actually kind of got to know. I wish I’d come on more, because you seem like a really great person. Thank you, thank you, for keeping TAP alive. I remember your poetry; how it flooded the Zine on that one day I decided to come on, and how I read them all and they were amazing. Don’t EVER stop writing. Just because TAP is ending, doesn’t mean you should.

Cecilia: Ceci! Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the support on my stories! You always had great comments, and you’re so sweet! I wish I’d been able to read more of your work.

To all the new people: I wish I’d been on more in recent times to have been able to get to know you all. Thanks for posting, thanks for loving TAP, and I’m sorry I’ll probably never get to speak with any of you.

To all the old people: I wish I had gotten to know the older generation of TAP. I’ve done a lot of lurking, and you guys seem really cool. If only I’d read the book earlier… if only, if only, if only.

~

I suppose that’s all, although I feel like I’m forgetting people.

In conclusion, to everyone on here, thank you. I used to be a closet writer; I had absolutely zero faith in my abilities, and everything I wrote never got past the second chapter, because by then, I’d scrapped it. When I joined TAP, I finally felt like I had an outlet for all of my writing, and there were all these supportive people who actually wanted to read my writing. You guys made me want to write, and I’ve improved so much since this site. I can honestly say that if it weren’t for TAP, I would not be writing write now.

You can find me on:
Wattpad, as Starry_Serenade
deviantArt, as ~DaylightMystic
Tumblr, at euphoniouscacophony.tumblr.com
Just tell me who you are, ‘cause I want to keep in touch :).

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t picked up The Amanda Project in the bookstore that day, if I hadn’t joined TAP, followed Amanda’s mystery, and met all these people that, ultimately, as cheesy as it may sound, changed my life. I did a research project on parallel universes, and one theory states that everytime you make a choice, the universe splits to encompass all the possible outcomes. I wonder if there’s a universe, somewhere, where none of this happened, and where I’d be if it weren’t for TAP.

So, before I exceed the character limit or kill anyone with my cheesiness, I guess I’ll bring this goodbye to a close. I’ll miss you guys—those of you who I don’t talk to on a daily basis. This has been a great TAP year, and I’m glad to have met everyone. I hope everyone keeps writing, wherever you go, and whatever happens to TAP.

One last thing, and I swear I’m done: Thanks, once again—to my fellow TAPpers/TAPpinators/TAPians, to the TAP administrators, and most of all to Amanda herself—-for everything. Goodbyes suck, so I’ll say it in (probably improper) French: Au revoir, mon amis! Je tu aime tous :).

^{Why do I feel like I just signed some huge yearbook?}