NeedCriticism

by Julie_A on 02.07.2010

6 Responses

The One
[is the title good?]

I can’t believe it’s true
I’m not meant for you
You’ve been with that girl
Oh God [or gosh] I want to hurl
{Gotta suck it up
Though it’s tough}
You’re a two-timer
You and that girl should have known better
Why did I have to be so blind
It didn’t help that I was soooo kind
Why did this have to be
But now I see
Reality
I think it was your smile
That could make me run a mile
It lured me in
Like a sin
But I’ll move on don’t worry
But first I’ll need a SORRY!

You I haven’t been on a date [no joke]
And I hope it wouldn’t be too late
Because I’m so young
With more songs to be sung
And when I find this guy
Let’s hope I won’t be too shy
He’ll be the one
And I will feel like I’d just won

-Julie_A [any more title ideas?]

6 responses

  1. TiGur-Gal

    no the one is pretty good, I would’ve thought the heart breaker but THE ONE comes up a lot more in the poem .

    • AmeKumo

      Nice poem! Sorry not a big complement… Not a good day at school. Darn teacher!

      • Julie_A

        Ok thanks you guys! :)
        What’s up AmeKumo? seem so sad…. what happened?

        • Jacqattack

          Wow what you just did was write a poem about what pretty much every girl goes through in the world when she is a teenager. It was beautiful.
                                    – Jacque

          • jessicahuey

            title is great! I drifted away reading it! total imagination power! If u want a title from me i would say: ‘‘Waiting Moments’’

            • Julie_A

              thanks jessicahuey!

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